Crappy RELATIONSHIPS/Good SEX vs. Crappy SEX/Good RELATIONSHIPS

My title is self explanatory....well I hope so.....I guess I can go more in depth....I ponder, can a person have good sex, as well as a good relationship? Or does good sex disguise a person's true character? Can a person have both? I might have several ppl say "Yes, me and my mate have been together for such and such time, and we never argue and the sex is phenomenal!" Then I would wonder, is the sex that good, or are you and your mate so inexperienced that you do not know that you are having bad sex?
So, with that being said, what makes for a good relationship? I have heard several people say communication is the key! Some folks say that honesty is number one.....possibly....I am not knocking any of these possibilities, but I do know that for those who do not wait until marriage to have sex, sex is major. I personally know individuals who have broken off from their mate because of bad sex. A friend from college had her fair share of mates, and met someone that she thought was "the one". This person had it all! A nice car, a good job, and they were physically appealing. To make matters more awesome, they shared many of the same beliefs. Well after dating for some months, they decided to take their relationship to the next level....next thing I know, I am getting a three a.m. phone call from my friend, saying she was taking a cab back to the dorm. When she got back, she told me not only was the sex awful, but after the ordeal, she was so disgusted with her mate that she did not even want to share the same vehicle with them. What was unfornuate was that this individual had all the qualities she wanted, except in the sex department. I would like to think that a persons character can override their sexual inadequacies, but clearly that is not always the case. I had another friend who seemed to have the opposite problem. She got the most awesome sex from her mates, but the possibility and possible desire for a relationship just was not there. So I ask the question again, can a person have a good relationship, and good sex? In the bible it talks about not having sex before marriage. It encourages people (especially women) to keep themselves pure for the person God has for them. In many other religions purity before marriage is encouraged as well....but how easy is it to remain "pure" in this generation? With media encouraging sex or sexually explicit activities, how does one keep themselves in a moral state both mentally and physically? Girls who do not "give it up" nowadays are social outcast, while girls who do put out are popular. Some might think that even negative popularity is better than being ignored. Boys are of course are not held accountable for the sexual actions at all, and are actually fueled by society to be sex hounds. People easily shrug off a boy who got a girl pregnant, versus the girl who got pregnant. So, is sex a huge factor in any relationship? Within the past five years, sex has been in the top five reasons people get divorced in the United States (needs citation).
That brings me to my next question, what is good sex? People seem to know what bad sex is, but how is a person's sex good, or even great? Well....I cannot answer that, to each is own :) But I can say this, sex should not be the absolute determiner of a relationship. People seem to go crazy over good sex....men leave their wives, women will stay in an abusive relationship, people think they are in love-all because they found someone who is great in bed. Hilariously enough, I remember in college, two girls found out they were dating the same boy, and stayed with him. I personally knew the boy, and I know for a fact that his personal attributes were so so. But both girls said that he, and I quote "put it down". That might seem silly to some, but people have dang near gone to war over some "good good".....So how low does a persons self-esteem have to be to stay with an individual that they know they have no future with, but they have great sex with? Please...think about this, I will wait.......I have heard people say terms like "no strings attached" or "friends with benefits", and that might be fine and dandy for one night stands...But I have a hard time believing that a person can have sex with someone on a regular basis, and not have any type of feelings for them. Now, I know some men reading this might say, "no, not all, I can have sex with a female for months and not care if we stopped talking". Ok, lets test that theory, say you saw your "buddy" walking with another dude, tell me that you wouldn't feel some type of way? Don't try to deny it. Every time you have sex with a person, you give a piece of yourself to them. So, looking at it from a relationship aspect, maybe the Bible is onto something. Maybe this no sex thing before marriage has some valid points. Ok, go with me here...perhaps the people who claim they have both awesome sex and a good relationship, took the proper steps to know each other in an out. And maybe their sex is so good, because since they were virgins, they do not have anything to compare it with. So even if they are having bad sex, they would never know, cause they do not have a slew of partners to compare it to! I don't know, me personally-I kind of want to know what I am getting myself into :) But some people are blessed with a more patient spirit. I do know this, every good relationship starts with a positive spiritual center, and that's real!

Miss Mae

Miss Sallie Mae,
I hope this letter comes to you with cheer,
I'd have you know it's been a frightfully rough
two years
I graduated with hopes
and ambitions so sky high
But now Life's expeditions
seemingly might have passed me by
You have to understand my awful situation
I don't ignore you for sport
or for just any occasion
I would like to talk to you
and explain how things are currently
for me
But when I try to communicate-
your children seem to tease
They call me all the time
With threats of dept, and such
They tell to pay a huge lump sum,
or I am out of luck
Please Mam try to be reasonable
for cash grows not on trees
And if that were the case
then I would send you piles
of leaves
So I am certainly not begging on my knees
But do take into consideration
my life has been no breeze
No jobs in my profession
will even hire me
More schooling is required
for the job of my dreams
So since 09' I have been working
below my means
And it seems that Education at this point
indeed deceived
For I believed with dedication
that anything I could be
But now I'm stuck with bills that
even haunt me in my sleep
And Mr. Hughes said a dream deferred
might immaculately com bust
But deferment in your world
means higher interest, and that sucks
I know you do not care to care
or care to even read
But here is my status:
Mother of one
Struggling just to breathe